Creativity Is a Mad Dash
Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the chaos.
My, how the pendulum swings. Was it really just two weeks ago that I was advising us all (myself included) to let our brains rest for a single goddamned minute?
That was cute.
I have spent the past week deep in a hole of my own making. It’s a very nice hole with a dark academia vibe and a citrus jasmine candle, but every time I’m forced to emerge, the sunlight hurts my eyes.
Sometimes in a creative life, we have to put the pedal to the metal and charge across the finish line. I’m convinced certain tasks are bound to feel like a flurry of stress-fueled activity as we approach an epic conclusion, no matter how much cushion we allow or how many times we delay.
I moved an important deadline from January 1 to February 1. One might’ve thought the extra month would give me time to work on the project a little every day and maintain balance in my life along the way. LOL. Maybe some of you out there can do this, but not I!
Although I did do some nice slow and steady work, it wasn’t enough. I needed to harness my ability to hyperfocus.
As someone with medium-rare ADHD, I am not at all minimizing the lifelong struggles that frequently come along with neurodivergence. However…the ability to laser focus on a single goal and ignore everything else in the world does come in handy from time to time!
And so, I have been eating, breathing, and sleeping my novel. I’m obsessed with getting it in the right hands to get it out into the world. I haven’t cooked a fresh meal or done my laundry, my skin is starting to feel scaly, and I killed my Tamagotchi.1 I’ve grudgingly fulfilled my work obligations, but every other moment has been consumed…
…AND THAT’S OKAY!
I’m going to say something that might surprise some of you, given that my style of coaching largely promotes rest, self-care, and forgiveness, but I feel it needs to be said:
GREAT ACHIEVEMENT REQUIRES SACRIFICE.
If it didn't, we would all be greatly achieving all the time! But we’re not.
Some people have a lot of ideas, but lack follow-through. I’m sure you know a few. They talk a big game, get really excited, maybe even bring other people along for the ride, but when it’s crunch time they fold under the pressure.
As a coach, I never judge my clients,2 but sometime when I run into these folks in the wild, my most uncharitable conclusion is that they simply lack the get-shit-done gene. But more likely, they have some real issues with their process that need addressing.3 Or maybe they overextended themselves from the start and committed to things that don’t actually align with their goals and values. For an unlucky few, maybe life really does keep getting in the way in forms that are completely unique and unpredictable.
Regardless of the reasons, that looks like a very unsatisfying way to live.
To be fair, so is the alternative! Holding yourself to every single thing you say you’re going to do and becoming a slave to your to-do list is a recipe for resentment and burnout.
We have to find the place in between.
For some of us you, that might look like developing a consistent routine that carves out time for your most important (read: riskiest!) work. For me, it means the occasional mad dash to completion. Both work. Both require sacrifice.
This brings me back to a book I mentioned briefly in my last post: Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks. We do not have time to do it all. Literally. Physically. You’re not a failure. That’s just a fact.
Building a life is about making choices. Every yes is also a no. My wish for you is that you make those choices with intention.
My house is messy right now. Literally, who cares? I wrote a book! My acting career is totally stalled. Bitch, have you read my whole-ass book?! In my attempts to survive capitalism, my creative skills are frequently under-valued and under-utilized. BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK BOOK!
When you accept that you can’t live a picture-perfect life and you make choices in service to your short and long term goals—and maybe even to your life purpose or higher calling—those sacrifices start to feel less painful.
And it’s just a season. My house will not be messy forever.4 I am as capable of putting energy into other facets of my career as I am to my book. I’m just not capable of doing it all at the same time. That’s okay. That’s natural. That’s human.
So, if you have been lacking in the get-shit-done department lately, it’s worth taking a closer look. What else is going on? What excuses are you making? What’s holding you back? Or are you simply trying to do too much? Have you accepted that sacrifice is a part of success?
If you think this week’s missive completely undermines what I said last time…GOOD. Life is messy and full of contradictions. What’s right for us in one moment is wrong for us the next. The only constant is change.
The pendulum swings.
He wasn’t that cute and I was really aiming for an axolotl, so I kinda let him die on purpose, but I haven’t even had time to hatch a new egg! 😩
This isn’t a brag or an exaggeration, I think I’m just genuinely in fact-finding, problem-solving mode!
If I got into every single one of those here, this would become my next novel. Just work with a coach, folks!
But also…so what if it is?
I can so relate! And yes, sometimes great things require sacrifice...that was my mantra while I was getting my PhD (all while a divorced dad of two early teens and working a 40-50 hour workweek for a corporate overlord). And for nearly five years, I worked, read, wrote, researched, and parented...with no time (or energy) for anything else. In the end, all worth it...even though I'm no longer doing much of anything in my PhD field. Still totally worth the sacrifices.